A Constant Reminder
by nightwalker21492
Summary: There was something in his eyes. Something that the others didn't have when they tried to comfort her. Something that eased her fears and she knew, she would come to love this constant reminder.
1. Chapter 1

**A Constant Reminder**

Hermione cried. Cried for herself. Cried for her lover. Cried for the only thing she had left. The only thing that would be a constant reminder of their love and friendship. And she didn't want it. She feared she would hate it. She feared she would look at it and instantly associate it with pain and grief. She, for the life of her, did not want this constant reminder.

It had been two months since the war ended. They had lost almost half of the Order. Including Ronald Weasley. Her fallen friend. Her fallen hero. Her fallen lover. She closed her eyes as another sob tore through her body. She didn't want this constant reminder.

Hugging the pillow to her chest, she cried. She wanted him back. She wanted him, not this reminder. There was a soft knock on her bedroom door and then a soft creek as the door opened. She felt the presence of another as they closed the door and sat down on the bed beside her. There was a soft clink of glass and she guessed they had set down a cup of tea or sleeping potion, on her nightstand. She felt herself being pulled and picked up, then set down again, this time on their lap. They wrapped their arms around her as she let go of the pillow and instead, replaced it with the front of their shirt.

They ran a hand over her hair as they cradled her in their arms. "What's wrong, kitten?" Hermione shook her head and cried harder against his chest. Gripping her chin lightly, he tilted her head towards him. "What happened?" Hermione's lip trembled and he ran a thumb over them. "You know you can tell me anything, Hermione." he said gently and she instantly felt at ease.

Hermione stared him with watery eyes. She hadn't known it was he who had come to comfort her this time. Usually it was Harry or George. Or even Remus on occasion. But she never would have guessed Sirius Black to comfort her the most. She swallowed the lump in her throat and licked her lips.

"I…I'm…" She broke down crying again and laid her head on his chest. "I can't do this. I don't want it. Not now. He's gone. This can't happen." she sobbed.

Sirius held her tighter before cupping her face with his hands. Once their eyes met, he tried again. "Tell me." She stared at him and he could tell she was thinking. Of what, he didn't know.

Could she tell him? Could she tell him that Ron knew he may not make it through the war, so he left her with the constant reminder of their one night together? Could she trust him? Would he be angry? Would he tell the others? She didn't know, but there was something in his eyes. Something that the others didn't have when they tried to comfort her. Something that eased her fears and she knew, she would come to love this constant reminder. Taking a deep breath, she trusted her heart.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

Sirius lay beside the now sleeping girl, propped up on his elbow and his head in his hand. He ran a hand through her hair, brushing it back over her shoulder. Not being able to stop himself, he gently brushed the back of his fingers across her cheek, the proceeded to run his fingers over her shoulder and down her arm. She's fragile. He reminded himself. He was almost afraid to touch her, afraid she would break, but every time he took his hand away or stopped his feather light caresses, she would shift to move closer. He knew it wasn't in any desire to be with him, but the feeling of human touch that she craved. He could always pretend of course.

Sighing contently, she rolled to lay on her back and he paused his hand as it now rest lightly near hear collarbone. He could feel her heart beating steady beneath her soft, porcelain skin. He closed his eyes, embracing the feeling. Opening his eyes a few moments later, he looked down at her and smiled lightly. She looked so peaceful. So innocent. But he knew the truth. Perhaps more than anyone else at 12 Grimmauld Place. He knew how she felt. How she was tired of fighting. How she hated having to pick up the pieces after finding one of them drunk and crying of the things they've seen in the war. She was tired, he realized, of having to be strong and hold back her emotions, while everyone else had the right to break down as they pleased at any time. So she cried at night in the silence of the house, while the rest of the residence were sound asleep. She didn't know it, but she had every right to fall apart like the others. She didn't know that she didn't have to be strong. She didn't know, neither did for that matter until a month ago, that he had fallen for the small brunette.

Running his hand down to her stomach, he placed it flat against her, his thumb making soothing circles. He wished it were his and not Ron's. Either way, he knew he would take care of them. He would take care of them, the way he would if she were his and the child were theirs. And maybe, she would fall for him as well.

His heart soared with the thought of Hermione finally being his. He should know better than to get his hopes up, but with her laying soundly beside him, he couldn't help but let them soar just a bit. He may not have much in his life now, but he didn't need much. Only Hermione. She was all he needed. And maybe, as time passed, he would be all she needed as well. Her and the constant reminder. Yes, that was all they needed. A constant reminder.

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A/N: I had to get this out. Let me know what you guys think.


	2. Chapter 2

**A Constant Reminder**

**A/N: This was meant to be a one-shot but Telemnar-xo convinced me to make it a chapter story. I would also like to thank her for being my Beta for this story. R & R **

**Chapter Two: **

Hermione stared at the man lying beside her, sound asleep. She had woken up just as he fell asleep, his hand still resting flat against her stomach. Her hand found its way to his and she traced small circles over the back of his hand. He shifted and her hand stilled. Once he was settled again, she gently turned as not to wake him and buried her face in his chest. His arm snaked its way around her, pulling her closer. Smiling softly, she closed her eyes and let sleep overtake her.

* * *

She could feel their eyes on her as she pushed the food on her plate around. They had been watching her all day. They watched her during conversations, while she read, and as she walked. And she was sick of it. Sighing, she put her fork down and sat with her hands on her lap, staring at her food. Sirius knew she was waiting. She was going to tell them tonight. He put down his fork and wiped his mouth with his napkin. Sitting back, he picked up his drink and cleared his throat. Taking a drink, he motioned towards her with his eyes when the rest of the table looked at him. They looked at her, putting their forks down as well, and he set his drink down, keeping his eyes on her, making sure she didn't break down.

"Mione?" Harry started.

Hermione looked up. She looked at each of them, never looking them in the eyes until she reached Sirius, sitting across the table from her. There is was. That something in his eyes that she couldn't pinpoint. And just like that, any fear she had been feeling was forgotten. She licked her lips nervously and took a deep breath. Closing her eyes, she opened her mouth to say something but the fear clenched her heart again.

Sirius could see her hands shaking. "Kitten," he said softly.

Hermione opened her watery eyes. She met his gaze and he nodded slightly. She took a deep breath and let it out slowly, "I'm pregnant."

The group was silent for a moment. The whole time Hermione never looked away from Sirius. Then she was attacked with praise of congratulations, smiling faces and questions of whose child it was. She answered in barely a whisper and the table died down in a crushing silence. She told them she didn't want it. She told them she was afraid she would hate it. She told them how she was afraid she would look at it and be caused pain. And finally, taking a deep breath, she told them she would keep it.

* * *

He had been taking care of her for over two months. And she still hadn't a clue to how he felt about her. Perhaps she was just clouded by the fact she was having a baby. Perhaps she knew and didn't feel the same way, so she decided to just ignore it. It could have been, of course, because he hadn't the courage to tell her. They had, however, begun sharing a room. She had come to him one night in tears. She had read in a book about the dangers of having a baby and all the complications that could occur. The next night she had broken down into tears after reading about deformities the baby could have. He had comforted her both times and calmed her nerves with ease. After the third night, however, he began hiding the baby and parenting books. She still managed to find them and he had to threaten Kretcher to throw them out.

No one said anything about them sharing a room. They believed it to be for support and comfort as a friend. They hadn't a clue of his feelings for the brunette witch. Making his presence known, he decided it was time he told her exactly how he felt. She looked up from the book she was reading and smiled at him. Closing the book, she patted the seat beside her. He entered the library and joined her on the couch.

"Is something wrong, Sirius?" She asked with worried eyes.

Reaching over, he brushed some hair out of her face and tucked it behind her ear. A smile tugged at his lips. He had to tell her. "I need to tell you something, kitten. And I'm not sure how you'll react."

Hermione fidgeted a bit and nodded. "What is it?"

Sirius took her hands in his and stared at them. They were so small compared to his, so fragile. _'She's still fragile. Tell her gently. Don't just blurt it out,'_ Said the voice in his head. He heard her faintly call his name and he looked up. His blue eyes caught her brown orbs and his breath was pulled from his lungs.

"I love you, Hermione." he whispered, mentally slapping himself for blurting it out. He wanted to build up to it._ Stupid, Stupid, Stupid._

He watched her with desperate eyes, hoping she would say something instead of staring at him. He shouldn't have told her. He should have waited. Suddenly she pulled her hands from his touch as if she'd been burned. She stood up, her book falling from her lap to the ground. He watched her and she avoided his eyes. She ran her hands over her face and they came to land on her stomach.

"I'm late for my appointment." She said and walked out of the library.

* * *

By the time Hermione got back to Grimmauld Place, everyone was already asleep. Taking a quick shower, she changed into her pajamas and sat down on the edge  
of the bed, a picture in her hand. She stared at it, not sure whether to be happy or not. The bed behind her shifted and there was a rustling of blankets and sheets. Sirius moved to sit beside her and she instinctively laid her head on his shoulder. She handed him the photo and snaked her arms around his torso. Sirius glanced down at her, a bit surprised, and watched her eyes begin to flutter close. Wrapping his arm around her, he ran a hand through her hair. He stared down at the sonogram in his hand and he felt a pain his heart. He wanted this child to be his. Yes, he could take care of them. Care for the child as if it were his own. But he would always know that no matter what he did, the woman he loved was not carrying his child.

Putting the sonogram on the nightstand, he looked down at Hermione, who was sleeping against his side. He held her in place as he stood up. Laying her down, he pulled the blankets over her then climbed in beside her, his hand on her growing stomach. That night he dreamt of Hermione and _their_ child.


	3. Chapter 3

**A Constant Reminder**

**Chapter Three**

* * *

Sirius watched from the doorway of the library and looked around. The once dark library was now, thanks to Ginny and Mrs. Weasley, covered in yellow and white streamers, balloons and confetti that floated just above the heads of the guests. A large table stood in front of the bay window littered with gifts of all different sizes, shapes and colors. Another table stood behind the couch covered in food with a large cake in the middle. The Weasley twins sat on the couch whispering, Ginny throwing them warning glares, silently telling them not to screw up Hermione's surprise. Mrs. Weasley busied herself putting up more decorations. Mr. Weasley and Harry chatted beside the punch bowl and Sirius couldn't help but smile in amusement as Harry looked around for a reason to escape what appeared to be an awkward conversation as Mr. Weasley told him about the mood swings and annoyances that his wife had gone through.

"Different with each one, you see. And when she was pregnant with the twins," he waved a hand in front of his face. "You wouldn't believe how gassy she got."

"Author!" Molly scolded and walked over to them. She smiled as Harry. "Go help Ginny finish setting up." she said and Harry walked quickly away as the married couple began to bicker.

Sirius chuckled and took a sip of the drink he was holding. The rest of the guests would be arriving soon, which meant the entire library would be full of women. It didn't bother him of course. He loved having the house so full of laughter and life. He was worried about Hermione, or rather, what she would do if one more person rubbed her belly and made baby talk to her belly-button. He glanced towards the clock above the fireplace, which Harry had charmed to burn a pink and blue flame. Remus would be back with Hermione in a half hour, giving the guests time to settle in and get the baby-shower started and help with little details that Mrs. Weasley and Ginny insisted on being perfect for when Hermione arrived.

He stepped away from the library and climbed the stairs to what was once Hermione's room. The door was charmed yellow with pink and blue balloons and zoo animals. Smiling, he opened the door and walked in. The once wooden floor was now covered in a plush yellow carpet. Yellow paint with white trim covered the dark paint that had originally plastered the walls and white curtains hung in the window. In front of the windows sat a beautifully crafted crib painted white to match the trim. Hanging from the ceiling above it was a mobile with different colored Hippogriffs flying in a small circle. Against a second wall sat a matching changing table and a small cabinet charmed to always be full of diapers, baby powder, bibs, rash cream and everything else the baby would need. On the same wall as the door sat a large bookcase filled with every children's book he and Remus could find, and a white rocking chair that Mrs. Weasley insisted be given to Hermione. It was the one she had used while her children were babies and rocked them to sleep. The fourth wall was simply covered with multiple pictures of the Weasleys, the Trio, The Order, The D.A, summers at the Burrow, Hogwarts, The Marauders and Hermione's parents.

Sirius walked over to the crib and ran his fingers over the crib, smiling lightly. He grabbed one of the stuffed animals from the rocking chair and placed it in the crib, positioning it just right.

"The room looks amazing, Sirius."

Sirius turned to see Harry leaning against the doorframe. He smiled at his Godson and looked around the room, his smile fading. "I hope she likes it."

"She will. I gotta tell you though," Harry gave a soft chuckle. "Your gift defiantly beats everyone else's."

* * *

3 hours later, Sirius waited impatiently for the group of women surrounding Hermione to depart. Remus walked up to him and shook his head, handing Sirius a drink. "You give her your gift yet?"

"No. Those bloody women won't let me take her." Sirius growled.

Remus patted his friend on the back and walked towards the crowd. "Ladies, ladies, it's getting late and Hermione needs her rest." he said, and held in a laugh when they all, except Hermione, gave identical sounds of disappointment.

"Thank you, Moony." Sirius said to himself, then stepped out of the way as the women rubbed Hermione's stomach one last time, congratulated her and walked out of the library.

Sirius walked over to Hermione and helped her out of the chair, wrapping an arm around her. "They're lucky I don't have my wand with me. I would have cursed every single one of them." Hermione mumbled as Sirius walked her up the steps, leaving the rest of the house hold to clean up after the baby shower.

Sirius chuckled. "I would have liked to see that, you know, but Molly wouldn't allow wands, thanks to Fred and George when they accidentally set fire to the couch earlier while setting up."

Hermione stopped walking and looked at him. "Accidentally? Fred and George? I doubt it. They were probably just sick of looking at the beastly thing." she sighed. "I cannot wait to go to sleep." she said, placing a hand on her grown belly.

"Well you're gonna have to because you have yet to see my gift." he said softly, leading her to her old bedroom just down the hall from theirs.

Hermione starred at the pastel yellow door, then up at him with wonder in her eyes. "What did you do?"

Sirius smiled softly. "Go inside."

Hermione opened the door and gasped. The room was absolutely beautiful. She looked up at Sirius with tears in her eyes. "You did this?"

He nodded. "You like it? I figured it was time considering you've only got about two months left."

Hermione wrapped her arms around him and pulled him as close as she could without squishing the baby. "I love it." she cried. "Thank you so much, Sirius. It's beautiful." she said and placed a kiss on his cheek.

* * *

After looking around the room, Hermione came to a stop beside the crib. She gently ran her fingers over it, a soft smile playing on her lips. "I think this is my favorite part." She said and picked up the stuffed animal Sirius had placed in there earlier.

Sirius smiled. "I'm glad. It was mine, you know."

Hermione looked at him. "Really?"

He nodded and placed a hand on her lower back, looking down at the crib. "Had to fix it up a bit, but I wanted you and the baby to have it." When he looked back at Hermione he furrowed his brow. She was starring at the crib, the stuffed animal held against her chest. "Are you alright?" he asked, worried. Hermione looked at him with watery eyes and nodded. Sirius reached up and wiped away a stray tear that had fallen down her cheek. "Then why are you crying? You do like it right? You're not just saying it?"

Hermione gave a small laugh and shook her head. "I love it."

There it was. That something in his eyes that she had yet to decipher. He had told her he loved her but she just assumed...she didn't know what she assumed. She just didn't believe it. Until now. And she knew, then and there, that, that had to be the reason she felt safe with him. The reason why she looked at him and felt like her life wasn't falling apart, but together. The reason why she had first trusted him with the fact that she was pregenant.

Sirius watched her curiously. "Are you sure? Because we can change it." He said looking around the room. "Maybe green, if you'd like that better..."

Hermione shook her head again and licked her lips. "Sirius..." she whispered.

"Or purple, but not a girly purple. A manly purple..."

"Sirius!" Sirius jumped a bit at the volume of her voice and stared down at her. She licked her lips and took a deep breath. "I love you."

* * *

**A/N: Sorry about the serious lack of updates. Totally forgot about this story. Hope you liked the chapter. Don't forget to review!**


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